I finally got a sure-fire way to cope with my water bottle problem. I'm going to name them. I got the idea from farmers, particularly farmers with kids. They have certain animals on the farm that don't get names. After all, you don't want the kids playing with their food before it becomes food. Goat kabobs are great, but Billy Kabobs are macabre. So, I figure if my water bottles have names, I'll care more for their individual safety. I'm also going to go with a naming theme. They'll all be named after my team: pink. Here's the names I've retroactively applied to my missing bottles:
P!nk ... this was my first water bottle. It may have got the whole party started, but the pretentious use of "!" for "i" kept me from really getting attached. Fate: Warped in the sun because I left it in the car.
Mr. Pink ... it didn't want to be named Mr. Pink. He asked for Mr. Purple, but I told him it was my way or the highway. Let's move on. Fate: Dropped it and it shattered.
Pinky Tuscadero ... this one was like a female Fonzie. Fate: I left it in "the office" and forgot about it. She wasn't there when I went back for it.
Pinky ... I have no idea what happened to this one. It's around the house somewhere. Every now then while I'm sleeping, I can hear a faint "we're going to try to over the world!"
My current water bottle is the Pink Panther. It's hard not to go "dah dum dah dum dah dum etc" when filling it up. If you're going to get a song stuck in your head for a whole day, you could do a lot worse.
For future water bottle names, I've been googling. There's Pink Floyd, which I'll use after I hit the proverbial wall in weight loss. Eight different MLB players were called Pinky (and curiously, no NFL players). There's also a bunch of additional cartoon characters I could use (including Pinkie Pie for all you bronies). And then there's Pinky Lee, a 50's-era celebrity known as a "burlesque radio comic." What the heck does that mean? Apparently, Rizzo gave him a quick shout out in Grease. Hopefully, I won't need any of these new names, but who are we kidding? We all know Pink Panther's days are numbered.
Why make a big deal over my water bottle? Well, I need to drink a lot of water. I turn totally cotton mouth during workouts, and it really does help take the edge off hunger pangs. I try to refill it at least four times a day. High water intake is vital to all fitness programs.